“Back to Self” is a deeply personal interview series that spotlights Black public figures opening up about mental health, recovery, and resilience. Through candid conversations, the series explores how mental health illness changes lives, what helps people find their way back to center, and what it takes to live with mental struggles and still reclaim oneself.

New mother Blair Imani is getting honest about what postpartum depression really looked like for her.

The activist and author said she did not fully recognize what she was dealing with at first. Because she already lived with anxiety and ADHD, when she got pregnant, she knew to stay alert for postpartum mental health changes and made a therapist appointment ahead of time. “I really didn’t realize I had postpartum depression until I started the process of going to therapy,” she said.

That early support mattered. Imani said the hardest part was not always sadness in the traditional sense, but a fog that made everyday life feel heavier than it should have. “It doesn’t just mean that you’re sad.” For her, it showed up as numbness, overwhelm, and a constant sense that something was off. “I was feeling more overwhelmed than excited about life,” she said. “I was trying not to feel at all.”

Like a lot of new mothers, Imani also carried shame. Even with family around her, she admitted that getting help felt hard because she worried it meant she was failing. “You don’t want to let on that anything’s wrong, because then you feel like you’re a bad mom,” she said. That shame made her hide what she was feeling, even as she struggled with fear, denial, and the pressure (she put on herself) to power through.

The turning point came when she stopped treating her mental health like something she had to manage alone. She described a memory about a block party that she attended with her family. In a photo, her husband is seen holding their infant, who appeared slumped. Looking at the photo gave her dark thoughts, which she shared with her husband. “He’s really great, and he works in mental health as well, and he was like, ‘Ok, well, let’s work backwards from that.’” Imani asked for help, and her husband helped her come back to reality. 

She then shared that experience with some friends, and one of her close friends let her know that her thoughts didn’t sound healthy. It was at that moment Imani understood she needed help.

Therapy helped her name what was happening, and journaling became one of her most important tools. “Journaling is so essential,” she said, explaining that writing things down helped her track patterns and notice when she needed more support. She also leaned on routine — showering, washing her face, brushing her teeth, drinking water, and making sure she took care of herself in the smallest ways. “Those are kind of my mental health wins,” she said.

Imani also stressed that support systems are not a luxury. She pointed to postpartum support organizations, doulas, therapy, and honest conversations with trusted people as part of her recovery. She also said boundaries became part of how she protected her peace, from limiting outside noise to being more intentional with her time and energy. “It’s not just to survive,” she said in essence. “You deserve to thrive.”

For Imani, coming back to herself means finding her way through a new reality with more honesty, more tools, and less shame. “Coming back to yourself doesn’t mean that you’re going to come back to a version of yourself you were before,” she said. “It’s finding a piece within yourself in your new circumstances.”

And that, ultimately, is the heart of Back to Self: not perfection, not pretending, just the work of getting honest, getting help, and learning how to keep showing up.