Jay Shetty finally got his dream guest on the show: Cardi B. The “Am I The Drama?” rapper appeared on Shetty's show “On Purpose” and pulled back the curtain on her emotional journey through marriage, motherhood, self-reflection, and self-discovery. During the candid conversation, Cardi admitted that she “felt the love dying” from herself and from her ex, Offset, during their marriage. “From my end, from his end. I was very lonely because I chose to be lonely,” she said, knowing she didn’t want to continue going through that loneliness. “I was crying everyday. I was hurt everyday. I was out here in L.A. in a mansion by myself. I was thinking about it every single day.”

Cardi shared that during that time, she fell into the deepest depression of her life, and she couldn’t function. At the time, she was pregnant with her daughter, Blossom, and said, “I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't do nothing.” She couldn't even create what she loved: music. Cardi said her depression stemmed from feeling pressure from her career and her marriage. 

“I told myself ‘I’m pregnant. I’m going to accept my flaws that I bring in this marriage and I’m going to apologize for it and I’m going to work on it. When I take accountability and you take advantage of me taking accountability, and you take that as a, ‘see, I knew she’d be back,’ and you’re taking advantage of that, it really just killed everything. While it was dying, I had a human growing in me. What is life going to be without this person? What is life going to be raising my last child without this person? What’s life going to be like with that person not being my friend anymore? When you have those type of thoughts, it will make you sad, get you depressed, it will have you lost. But, I overcame that. I am the strongest that I have ever been,” Cardi said.

In order to move forward with her decision to finally be “done” with her marriage, Cardi had to call in reinforcements. She started therapy. “I can’t believe I’m telling a whole stranger my feelings, my thoughts, my personal business for 3 hours straight. I did a couple sessions,” she shared. 

Even in heartbreak, Cardi said she carries no hatred. “I don’t have hate in my heart anymore,” she shared with Gayle King last month. Instead, she hopes that Offset will “be a better person” for their kids. 

Cardi said she felt her strongest as a woman when she was 22-24 years old, and she said she feels that strength now at 32. “I feel like I live in a power,” she explained from her place of healing. Cardi sees and feels the growth in her pain. She said, “It took some crying and some scary thoughts, but I’m here.”