Unromanticizing the Struggle: The Grim Reality of Mental Health After Surviving the Altadena Wildfire
When lights are on, cameras are rolling, and a director yells “action” on set, actors jump into character, performing rehearsed lines to bring a scene on paper to life. But when real life happens, there’s no script to rely on; rather, the inner fortitude to press forward despite distressing circumstances. For actress Avise Parsons, this is how she survived the Eaton Fire.
Following the blaze that ravaged Altadena –a tight-knit community that was famously home to baseball legend Jackie Robinson– Parsons, who stars in BET+’s “House of Vicious,” has had a “whirlwind” of emotions, highs and lows, that have nearly brought her to her breaking point. Like several residents of the historic Black community, her life was inverted after the catastrophic firestorm destroyed countless homes and businesses.
“There were little fires everywhere on my street,” she remembers of January 7 after leaving work and seeing houses burning on her neighborhood's left and right sides.
Ironically, after the fast-moving flames set much of the town ablaze, Parsons' home remained standing. Still, she says the effects of the fire’s soot tested 30 times higher than the allowable rate for a dwelling, marking her residence and everything inside of it as unsafe, including clothing, shoes, and furniture.
During the fire, power lines throughout Altadena were destroyed and later restored, but the water in her home remains inoperable.
Those static points have spurred her mental health into waves of anxiety and a loss of identity. From once calling her home in Altadena her sanctuary, the place of redemption and a new beginning, Parsons now says the calamity in the town she loves feels like “Altadena broke up with me, and I didn't even do anything thing to deserve it.”
“It's kind of like having your cake, but you can't eat it,” she adds. “I'm grieving that I don't get to live here anymore and that I have to start over. I have built myself here for the last six years. The comfort and the sense of safety flashed within a second. So it feels like a loss of identity.”
Still, once a week, she returns to the property hoping to find something salvageable while coping with the fact that she has to re-establish herself elsewhere.
“It really breaks my heart and makes me want to cry,” she explains. “Coming here and putting my stuff out on the street is a reminder of what happened to Altadena, whether your house actually burned to the ground or whether it was one of the standing ones. I know that I'm not the only one in this position. I have to start over in a new place. I have to start over with everything that I had. And you think it's just a shirt, but it was your shirt.”
Some residents have relied on FEMA to help those affected by the fire, but Parsons says her experience with the federal agency has been an uphill battle. As an apartment renter in a multiunit establishment, the actor says her application continues to be flagged due to suspicions of fraud, but she says that’s not the case.
“With this home being apartments under one address, they thought we were doing a duplicate application because it's all one home address, but I've called multiple times to prove that I am a separate tenant.”
As such, Parsons says she was denied a hotel stay after she was forced to evacuate on the evening of the fire.
Another reason her mental health has been in shambles is due to the lingering visuals of active fires on her street and the National Guard positioned in the city.
“I saw it happening, but my mind had too much adrenaline to really slow down and feel it,” she remembers. “My mental health slipped because I started realizing that I don't live here no more.”
Over the past three months, Parsons has experienced a lack of focus while trying to manage her stress level due to the trauma of the Eaton Fire. As she adjusts to a new standard, new elements of agony have unfolded. Before the fire, her daily commute to work consisted of streets she was familiar with, free of gridlock. Now, her commute involves traveling on multiple highways from city to city.
To help achieve balance, she started seeing a mental health therapist and has been prescribed medication to help her regain concentration. Her main priority is “trying to keep a peace of mind.”
As time passes, things are beginning to look up for her, and now Parsons has relocated to a new apartment, which she says gives her a safe space to let her emotions flow freely.
“I've cried every other day in the last two weeks because since the fires, I've evacuated with so many different people. I've been with at least four, maybe five different people [homes] since evacuating, and I didn't get to cry. I didn't get to show how I really felt because I had to be performative while in their home.”
She continues, “My mental health has been wild, but I remain grateful, and I still smile and pray every single day. I know that you don't lose anything ever; you only gain.”
Although much trauma is now associated with the place she once fell in love with, she still desires to call it home again.
“I do want to move back to Altadena as soon as it's restored. Altadena is a special little nugget in town. Everybody you know is kind, and you want to return because of the peace and joy it makes you feel.
To help Parsons rebuild, please check out her GoFundMe.
