In a Facebook note addressed "to a friend," Jada Pinkett-Smith addressed the struggles associated with marrying someone with children and blending the two families without drama. The actress said that while it isn't easy, it's a choice to get involved in that situation and once you do, it's selfish to separate your man from his previous family. When she married Will Smith in 1997, he already had a son with ex-wife Sheree Fletcher and she said that if she was going to love her stepson Trey as one of her own, she was going to have to form a close relationship with his mother.
"Blended families are NEVER easy, but here's why I don't have a lot of sympathy for your situation because... we CHOOSE them. When I married Will, I knew Trey was part of the package...Period! If I didn't want that...I needed to marry someone else. Then I learned if I am going to love Trey...I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him...his mother. And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other... but we have learned to LOVE each other," Pinkett-Smith wrote.
"I can't support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls. Your behavior is that of an insecure child who needs to recognize her own weaknesses that MUST be strengthened to take on the task at hand. We can't say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. THAT'S selfishness...NOT love. WOMAN UP... I've been there...I know. My blended family made me a giant… Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date. It's time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are."
What do you think about her advice on blended families?
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(Photo: Facebook via Jada Pinkett-Smith)
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