If you told me last week that I’d be writing about (not-so-little) Boosie (aka Boosie Badazz) this week, I would have guffawed in your face and called you a dirty liar. Now, if you had politely informed me that I would be writing about (not-so-little) Boosie this week AND his comments about getting some “bad b***h” to go down on his 14-year-old son as his birthday present, I’d probably look at you like this:
Excuse me, what?
But unfortunately for all of us here, this actually happened. Like, this was an actual thing that occurred on the internet.
Indeed, I suspect Boosie thought he was fulfilling his son’s wildest dreams with this preposterous proposition to get “a bad b***h to give [him] some head” and assumed that he would be met with loud internet cheering and applause. Of course, the opposite happened. While he did have his supporters (and we will get to that later), many didn’t take too kindly to his comments for obvious reasons:
Boosie later got back on Instagram to clarify that it was all a joke. You know, in that "Har har har, I said something f**ked up but since I don't feel like owning it, I'm gonna say I was joking kind of way." Hilarious!
But it's not funny. At all. And there are several reasons why:
1. Black boys experience sexual assault, often as a result of being pressured into sex too early.
A lot of people are trying to spin it a different way (which I'll get to later as well), but there's no ifs, ands or buts about it in my book.
What Boosie describes — his present for his son — is sexual assault. If he allows an adult woman to pleasure his son in any way, guess what? Child molestation. If he knowingly pays a minor to do it? Sexual abuse on both counts. His statement implies that he's going to set him up with some grown-ass woman for a sexual encounter he's probably not ready for (and in this case, would be pressured/coerced into). Because sex is cool! Everyone does it. You should want to do it. It makes you a man.
This is horrifying for a number of reasons. The first being the double jeopardy that Black children face in general in regards to age. Black children (boys, girls, etc.) aren't perceived as children and are often aged up to adults against their will. And this isn't even limited to cases of police brutality like Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice and such. Girls who show any sign of physical maturity are seen as grown and therefore "fast." And boys who show the same or even reach a certain age are automatically referred to as men.
And when you consider how these perceptions get even more complicated and intricate when shade/color is involved (i.e. attitudes about light-skinned Black people and dark-skinned Black people), you can already see the uphill battle that Black boys face with regards to retaining their collective youth and childhood. Which becomes damn near impossible when preconceived and premature sexual notions are projected on them by the community.
They reach a certain age, they're seen as automatically ready for adulthood, for sex. DTF. Sex is the goal at this point because what else can you do?
That's how they are to be ushered into “manhood.” No matter the cost.
And if they refuse or worse, they are uncomfortable with, or better yet, traumatized by what happened, their trauma is erased by pats on the back and calling them "lucky." This is particularly the case if they were assaulted by a cis woman.
Don’t believe me? Well, you need only look at all the various cases where young boys were preyed upon by adult women and all the dudebros on the internet that congratulated them for being violated in such a manner instead of checking if they’re OK. They are complimented for having the skills to even seduce an older woman and any objection to this is seen as an impediment or a stumbling block to their “right” to sex whenever and wherever (which ironically makes it sound like that's all they're good for).
Now if this was a cis man who violated them? Well...you can probably imagine the amount of homophobia and victim-blaming that comes into play. But that's only if the survivor decides to come forward in the first place. And more often than not, they don't. It's kept silent. Hush hush. For one particular reason:
2. [Black] Male survivors aren't taken seriously about sexual assault. This has consequences.
On the flip side of Black boys being expected to feel "lucky" to experience abuse, they are denigrated and shamed for not feeling so “lucky.” The combination of toxic masculinity and patriarchy make it so that if you aren't OK with having experienced abuse, you are then called "weak" and victim-blamed for allowing yourself to be assaulted to begin with (especially, again, if you were assaulted by a cis woman).
This is what we mean when we say that patriarchy absolutely hurts everyone.
If you are still doubting this, just think about the ramifications of sexual abuse being exacerbated by patriarchy. Black boys, to maintain toxic manhood, are taught to suppress the myriad of emotions and feelings of confusion that could stem from said abuse. And since these feelings have to come out somehow, expect anger issues and trouble with processing emotions to not be too far behind.
Psychological and developmental ramifications also come into play here. Such an encounter (that is, being pushed to having sex too early in life), will surely shape how they view all interpersonal relationships — but particularly those that involve sex.
And so continues the cycles of hurt, abuse and potential assault. So begins coping mechanisms that include substance abuse, addiction (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.) and other self-destructive behaviors, all while leaving paths of more destruction and pain in their wake.
This is why Boosie's post kind of took me by surprise. The cavalier way in which he puts his son out there for that kind of potential abuse, when these things exist, blows me away.
But it's not uncommon, considering the reactions and the defense that he got. Memphissippian (@CuntryCounselor) put it best when she illustrated that to most who are defending his post, this is their truth. They were likely introduced to sex in this messed up way, and since they've spent their whole lives trying to normalize it, they now pretend to see no issue with it. They figure it's easier than dealing with what happened.
But here's the thing: just because it happened to them or just because it's common doesn't make it OK.
Which is why it's not a joke and why it will never be funny.
(Photo: tootie_raww via Instagram)
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