There’s a fine line between fandom and fixation—and a lot of y’all are tap dancing across it in busted sneakers. We’ve officially entered the era where stanning someone has morphed into a full-blown parasocial lifestyle. What used to be a harmless crush or a favorite artist you followed on Instagram has now become a disturbing identity crisis played out in real time on social media.

Let’s define the term real quick for the people in the back:
A parasocial relationship is a one-sided emotional attachment to a public figure—where you, the viewer or fan, feel deeply connected to someone who doesn’t even know you exist. They perform. You watch. That’s the extent of it. But somewhere along the way, people decided that being a fan meant becoming a gatekeeper, a spokesperson, a digital bodyguard, and in far too many cases, an unlicensed therapist.

We’ve seen this play out with pop stars, actors, influencers, and now… reality TV contestants. Yep. Folks are fighting in comment sections over people who filmed a show, edited down to 45-minute episodes, and walked off set into a PR-managed life they didn’t invite you into. You’re watching a storyline, not a soul connection.

Yet here you are, defending every shady move, every soft launch of a questionable situationship, every eyebrow raise and side comment like it’s gospel. Someone offers a valid critique? You jump in with, “You’re just jealous!” or “They’ve been through so much, leave them alone!” as if you’ve personally walked through their trauma with them. Newsflash: You haven’t.

And the internet makes it worse. Stan culture thrives on collective delusion. You find people who also believe Celebrity X is misunderstood, or that Reality Star Y is being unfairly “attacked,” and suddenly your group chat becomes a support group for codependent obsession. TikToks, fancams, fake wedding edits, astrology breakdowns, conspiracy theories, entire accounts dedicated to defending their honor—it’s all getting out of hand.

Let’s sit with this: Why do you care this much?

Are you projecting your own desire for love, validation, or attention onto someone you’ll never meet? Are you filling a void by inserting yourself into a storyline that doesn’t belong to you? Are you ignoring your own healing to fixate on someone else’s highlight reel?

Therapy could answer those questions. The group chat cannot.

And let’s be honest—half of these public figures are not who you think they are. You’re idolizing curated personas, not people. You don’t know them behind the camera. You don’t see the contracts, the coaching, the PR spins, the arguments that never made it to air. You’re not their friend. You’re a viewer. A follower. A fan. And that’s okay! But the second you cross the line into harassment, delusion, or projecting your self-worth onto their love life, it’s no longer harmless.

We all want connection. That’s human. But parasocial obsession is a hollow one. It gives the illusion of intimacy while pulling you further from your real life, your real people, and your real self.

So take the energy you’re spending defending people you’ll never know… and invest it in the ones who are actually in your orbit. Talk to your friends. Journal. Drink some water. Get some air. Maybe even get a therapist—because whatever hole you’re trying to fill with strangers on TV, it’s not going to work.

You don’t need another fancam. You need some boundaries.

And maybe a nap.