As Mother's Day approaches this Sunday (May 12), Diddy made it clear that, for him, this year's celebration will not only be a day for mothers, but a day of mourning.
Last month, the Bad Boy mogul and his six beautiful children graced the May cover of ESSENCE magazine for a beautiful and flawless spread. Inside the issue, the mogul spoke on the passing of his longtime partner, Kim Porter, and the impact it has had on both him and their children.
Now, in light of Mother's Day, ESSENCE has released raw audio from that painfully transparent interview, where Diddy opened up about Porter's passing, along with his plans for the family's first Mother's Day without her.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do,” he said between sobs. “I'm gonna figure something out though. It just hurts so much... it just hurts. Ain't no way around that. This Mother’s Day is gonna hurt. We definitely gonna celebrate all the mothers. We're not going to get in the way of that. But honestly, anybody that's lost a mother, lost a soul mate, it takes time. It takes time, you know? They say time heals all wounds, [but] when it comes to your mother, or mothers, I don't think that's the case."
It's clear throughout the interview that the hip-hop icon was hurting, as he paused on a number of occasions to gather his bearings and collect his thoughts. Diddy is then heard crying again to the point of being inaudible at times, as he both apologizes for his tears as well as fights to get the remainder of his words out.
"I think we have the strongest beings in like, when it comes to categories amongst the strongest beings on the face of the earth, it would have to be Black mothers,” he said. “I don't think anybody could ever understand how hard it is to be a Black mother."
The former model and mother of four passed away back in November due to complications from pneumonia. Since her untimely death, the Bad Boy CEO has been very transparent about his love for the late Porter as well as expressing some of his regrets on having not settled down with his "soul mate" sooner.
When a fan called Diddy out on social media, alleging that the famed producer had failed to appreciate Porter more when she was alive, Diddy responded to the fan by saying "I played myself." Further into the podcast, Diddy went on to detail what he meant by those words, admitting that he'd taken Kim's presence, and time, for granted.
"I wasn't being honest, all the way honest, with my love for her, to myself and even with other people I was in a relationship with. I don't have no regrets how things went, they went how God wanted them to go. But I was playing with love, and it's not really to be played with. I definitely took for granted that she would just be with me forever. I took for granted that something like this could happen."
BET continues to lift prayers for Diddy and the entire Porter and Combs family this Mother's Day.
(Photo: Leon Bennett/Getty Images)